I was dumbfounded to discover smartphone separation anxiety is set to become an increasingly widespread problem. The term, which is also known as “nomophobia”, is used to describe the feeling of panic or stress some people experience when they’re unable to access or use their mobile phone.
The human touch has been replaced with touching a mobile phone screen. There must be a sensory pleasure derived from tapping on a screen all day. The obsession with cellphones in the modern world means that phones are omnipresent.
I was blamed for ignoring a friend because I did not respond to a message within a heartbeat. I offered my apology and asked that perhaps next time a call would be better, as I didn’t carry my phone with me all day. But what was I thinking? How could I, in 2020, not be carrying a phone with me 24hrs a day? And that too, just one phone. I started to doubt myself; did I not have enough friends to keep me occupied 8hrs a day texting each other complete and utter rubbish? Did I not have educated and sophisticated friends to whom I could share the fact that I was ‘feeling blessed’!
That was the turning point for me. ‘Feeling blessed’ — because someone caught the train on time; someone found a 9-pack of Andrex toilet paper in their spare room; someone could fit into a size 10 dress…they felt blessed. I had never heard such utter dross in my years. This was the new language I had to learn, the language of the modern times, where letter were missed and one has to play a game of guess to fathom the meaning. It’s similar to playing ‘Hangman’ — one has to guess the word from the limited characters. (bcz is because, bruv is brother, hru is how are you?).
20 years ago, when I was at university, mobile phones were a luxury item on expensive plans, that were out of reach for many. Public pay phones were still used, and I remember carrying a stack of 10p coins in my pockets incase I needed to make a call. People seemed to talk alot more to each other, letters were written to one another, and Christmas cards were sent and received with gratitude. Children played outside, watched the occasional cartoon, spent hours reading, exploring and the usual mischief. Making phone calls, whether national or international was expensive, and when people made calls, they were straight to the point (like a telegram). Hearing the phone ring was a rare event.
Fast forward 20 years, and the most remote village in India, where running water is scarce, where schools are non-events, where power is only provided 6 hours a day; most villagers have mobile phones. In the developed world, most people have 2–3 phones, and that too the latest Apple gimmick, priced at £1000. But, that’s a small price to pay for subscribing to a new religion. Not having the latest phone is the same as being seen as not having a 4 fingers and a thumb, or having one leg shorter than the other. When an injured party needs blood urgently, hospitals scramble around looking for donors, calling around and then seeking couriers to dispatch as soon as possible. Its a race against time. Or a kidney is needed by a child urgently, donors are rare and lives are lost. But, when Apple launch a new phone, people sleep outside the store for 2 days to be the first to purchase. Is this normal behaviour of modern day humans? Does having the new Apple phone first in the UK make you invincible or cure constipation? I believe not. The jury is still out on that phenomenon.
Many people keep sensitive information on their phones. They have apps to enable them to do online banking. They store passwords in their notes. They have credit card numbers saved in shopping apps. No one bothers to remember or write down phone numbers or email addresses anymore, so the contact information for almost everyone they have ever met is stored on their phone and only on their phone. They use their phones to access their work email, read lab results from doctors, keep track of their investments and as a calendar where they schedule meetings with clients. In short, people keep their entire lives in devices about the size and weight of the average person’s hand.
Whatapp is the new religion most people conform to. The advent of Whatapp meant everyone could message and later call cross-platform. The ‘UREKA’ moment. Free messages and free calls (literally if you can access your neighbour’s unlocked wifi password). The village in India has gone from being a conservative society, to one that has advanced faster than the West. They offer users near enough free data plans and phone prices so cheap that everyone can reach out and purchase. In such a vast country, staying connected at such low prices is a great opportunity. The Indian culture is a family orientated culture and so everyone loves to message and call each other, and of course gossip and talk ill of others — the pride of India.
We wake up and check our phones. When it buzzes or makes a sound, we immediately look at it, staring at a glass screen which informs us of the most important news from our friends, ranging from someone catching a bus on time, to someone else feeling blessed because they found a clean pair of socks. I see people on buses, trains, planes, airport lounges, and even when walking — staring into a screen or talking and taking — blether, balderdash, claptrap, guff, drivel, poppycock. I feel they are insecure. People have started to feel insecure that if they are seen walking alone, it may be perceived that they are lonely or without friends, and so talking gibberish to a friend gives on self-esteem or self-confidence.
There is a dark side; many many people use apps to behave maliciously towards the vulnerable, young, inexperienced. This has impacted people mentally, financially and emotionally. Like everything in life, there are always those who find loopholes in a good system to abuse it. Children under 16 don’t need mobile phones. How did we survive all these centuries? We talked, we commnunicated, and yet no harm came to us. If a bus was late, we didn’t call or send a letter to all our friends, relatives and neighbours to inform them. We didn’t take pictures of the fields, of ourselves (all day long selfies), or groceries (pictures of shops, cars, buildings) and send them to our friends all day long. But now, it seems to be the normal and acceptable behaviour. The mind-numbing apps, for example Tik-Tok, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter (and the list goes on); would we suffer a emotional pandemic if they stopped working tomorrow? Children, young adults, and even adults have and continue to waste precious hours of the day making, commenting or watching videos that 20 years ago would be cause for concern and one would question the mental state of many.
Has the population become so large that humans are struggling to find activities to occupy their time? Have we lost the human touch? We are happy to message each other for day and weeks and months, but we don’t make a call. Insecurity perhaps? Perhaps we are scared that we don’t know what to say on a call, but sending messages is without feeling and emotion. We feel safer behind that glass screen.
I see people living others lives through their posts on Facebook, and yet I question why people catalogue all their daily activities on social media? A girl sitting in a bath overlooking beautuful landscape. Is this an image to send all your friends? (Noting that she did look very good). What do you gain? Do you feel more privileged? Do you feel lonely and wait with bated breath for others to comment to make you feel you are surrounded by jealous friends (who will comment how great you look, but curse in the second breath). It’s insecurity. Sending pictures of your new handbag or car to everyone. Sending videos of a business class seat (though your company paid for the ticket), videos of fine dining (though you are expensing it to your company)…the list is endless.
Conversations to the same person about the same thing everyday. I know a person (cannot mention names!) who will talk to their parents everyday, on the same topics, get annoyed and put the phone down. And if they don’t answer, keep calling and calling, leaving messages, voice notes, and stalking until a reply is provided. Repeat 365 days a year. Do we become paranoid that if we don’t get a response within 30 seconds, that the receiver is annoyed, lazy, doesn’t love us, arrogant, rude…or died?
The first tick on Whatsapp gives relief that our message has been delivered. That must mean that the receiver has paid the bills and is still on the account. We wait for the second tick…it comes! Now we know the receiver is not on a plane, their phone is turned on, they have received the message. The tension is building up. Why are they not reading it? Why are the ticks not turning blue? Our life is hanging in the balance, our mind is full of negative thoughts, we become restless, nothing else matters. “hurry up!…look at the message!!” We keep checking and checking. Life has come to a standstill.
HURRAH!…its blue. The receiver is alive! Message read. Now, why are they taking so long to answer? What a rude and arrogant person. It only takes a second. I’m waiting!!…hello?! All part of the emotional roller-coaster of being a single parent to a mobile phone.
I long to get on a train and the same people whom I sit across (creatures of habit) will welcome me and initiate a discussion. I wonder what their voices sound like? Perhaps they are looking at me to start a discussion? I’m no better, as I didn’t make any attempts. I now only check my phone once in the morning, and once in the evening. Just what the doctor ordered. Outwith those hours, I will only respond if the phone rings, unless its a police siren ring; that means annoying friends or the office are calling.
We have to stop becoming a slave to the phone and social media. Saving money on long distance calls is excellent, and video calls has made the world a smaller place. We can see loved ones within a second. There are many many benefits also to such apps, for which I am personally grateful. I use Whatsapp calls most of the day for the international business that I do. Its a blessing in disguise. But temptation to sit all night long or all day long, watching lost souls on Tik-Tok or looking at never ending pictures on Facebook is not, I would suggest, a good use of our limited time on this Earth.
Reading, listening to music, walking, visiting friends, learning, giving back to society, cooking, travelling, are just a grain of sand on the beach of the rich forms of entertainment that can occupy and enrich our lives. Putting down the phone is important. When my days come to and end, I would like to have fond memories of people I met, countries I travelled, family….and not checking if I have enough battery left to send a final message; “Not feeling blessed.”
